Poor Losers

Poor Losers

By Tyce Dishman

Every year you may hear of an extreme Fantasy Football punishment. It could be wearing leggings to school, applying fart spray as cologne, or getting your eyebrows shaved. 

 Which might happen to sophomore Cameron Deckman.

There are 12 million people who play fantasy football on the ESPN Fantasy Football app, and every year there are plenty of losers. 

With a 2-6 record, Deckman is in last place in his fantasy football league of 14 other students and is on pace to lose.

“I am kind of winging it and my record reflects that,” Deckman said.

If he finishes last, Deckman will blind draw out of a hat to see his fate.

On the other side of fantasy football you have the people who are doing great.

Brady Williams, a sophomore, is 6-2 and is feeling confident.

His league’s punishment is to get waxed if you’re a boy or grow your leg hair out if you’re a girl. 

Brady is close to the top of his league, with four boys and six girls, and has a feeling that he is not getting waxed.

“I like fantasy football because it is a great way to connect with your friends and gives you something to do with them,” Williams said.

Unlike Deckman, Williams has a strategy.

He compares his players with the defenses they play that week to see who has the most potential points.

It is not just high schoolers who like to play fantasy football.

Health teacher Jacob VanPelt is in a league with other teachers at the middle and high school. 

Instead of a punishment they are playing for a small amount of money. The weekly winner that scores the most points gets a little cash.

Similar to Williams, VanPelt has a plan.

“I like to look at their matchups and I like to see how many points they scored the prior week and see how they are playing,” VanPelt said.

Fantasy football is a helpful way for many people to become closer together.

Even if it results in getting stuff poured on you.

Fantasy loser
Senior Ty Hickey cleans himself off after losing his Fantasy Football league. (Photo Provided)

Unfortunately, that was the case for senior Ty Hickey last year. 

Hickey lost his league with a 3-11 record. 

His punishment was the notorious dog cage penalty.

The non-losers got to pick a few items to pour on the loser who was in a dog cage, which was Hickey in this case.

If you want to play Fantasy Football next year, ask around or start a league. But don’t end up in last place or you might be put into a dog cage. 


November 1, 2023

About Author

Tyce Dishman

tycedishman Tyce Dishman is a freshman at Delta High School and plays varsity tennis. He is so happy his brothers are his assistant coaches! He loves his family and his dog. He is also a diehard Seattle Seahawks fan.


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