By Jackson Darby
What seems to be a fun bonding experience turns into trash talk and laughter while the last place participant regrets their draft day decisions. The season is about to end with something far more unforgettable than the mockery of last place.
“I think that was probably the worst experience in my life,” senior Brayden Swain said.
This was Swain’s experience with fantasy football, but it wasn’t just his 2-11 record that made it so dreadful.
Fantasy football is an opportunity for people of any age to feel like they own and coach NFL teams and players. Each participant is assigned a draft day spot and proceeds to pick their players.
Then the team owners are rewarded points based on how well their players perform each week in the actual games.
Swain took another route and autodrafted, meaning the program drafted random players for him.
“Letting it auto pick for me was definitely the main reason I lost,” Swain said. “At that time I didn’t realize how stupid that idea was.”
This decision he would soon regret, as losing his league wasn’t the worst thing that would happen.
Doing a punishment is somewhat of a tradition with different friend groups, ranging from getting a buzz cut to going on a date with an inflatable, but Swain’s punishment made him regret every step he took.
He turned into a track star, running until his legs and stomach couldn’t handle the pain.
Six laps. Six cups of milk. Six blazing wings from Buffalo Wild Wings (B-Dubs).
As brutal as the blazing wings were, at least Swain’s pain ended in a couple minutes.
Senior John Atkinson will be taking on the 24-hour IHOP challenge, trying to eat his way out of spending his entire day sitting in a booth eating pancakes.
“I loved the idea of the punishment, especially when I didn’t have the worst record, but I still somehow lost,” Atkinson said.
He had a 4-8 record but still lost the league at the end of the season even though senior Aaron Elliott had a 1-11 record. If that’s confusing to you, just know that Atkinson himself is still not sure how that happened!
Atkinson said his downfall was caused by one reason: “injuries.”
One of his injuries was during a Week 6 pregame incident when Indianapolis Colts quarterback Anthony Richardson suffered from an orbital bone fracture during stretching when a band snapped and hit him in the eye socket.
While this “love of the game,” as Atkinson said, got turned into an upcoming Saturday at IHOP fueled by pancakes, another student at DHS would have to walk in the school the next morning with a different style.
“I wasn’t very happy about it,” sophomore Bryce Carmichael said. “I thought about dodging it, but then I realized I got myself into this and had to accept it.”
He wasn’t originally planning on joining his friends’ fantasy league but thought it would be fun, not realizing that what he got himself into would take weeks to recover from.
His original strategy seemed complex enough to win it all. He looked back on previous seasons, scouting the players that produced the most points, specifically looking for a strong quarterback and running back duo.
But that was only the beginning of his plan as he didn’t just look to the past, but also the future.
“It’s really just about the team matchups, maybe if a strong team is playing a bad team, it’s very bipolar,” Carmichael said. “I have to look ahead for the schedule and arrange my players depending on what team my players will be playing.”
With a good plan in mind, he just didn’t have the “right tools” to push past his other competitors. He ended his competitive league with a 5-9 record and a last-place finish.
Because of this, he walks through the hallways unable to see his hair blowing around above his head. But rather the immense embarrassment breezing past his brain.
With this buzz cut reminding him every time he looks in the mirror about his loss, he intends to go into next season with a different plan.
Another sophomore is getting a fresh cut, but the suspense is building each day as it gets closer to his appointment.
With one late decision, Tyler Hawk got “roped in” last minute because a player from their league dropped out.
Tyler ended his fantasy season with a 4-10 record, finishing at the bottom of the barrel for his league.
Their league’s idea was to compile a bunch of punishments onto a wheel and let fate choose their destiny. With one click of a button the wheel spun and landed on Tyler’s demise.
Tyler lucked out, scraping by with a new haircut. However this isn’t any ordinary chop, the winner of their league gets to decide the loser’s fate by choosing their new style.
Luke Huston, as the winner of their league, is going to cut Hawk’s hair, but is unsure of the style, which will be decided before the beginning of April.
DHS students have taken charge in trying to make fantasy football more entertaining than just a winner and a loser, no matter the consequences.
